My kids are ridiculous.

Yup, they are, and that is what has prompted me to start this blog (along with recommendations from others who know the stories about my kids). I usually post them on my myspace account, but that's just for people who I actually know in real life, so there are millions of people out there who haven't been exposed to the ridiculousness of my children.

So, who am I? I'm 28, married, with 2 kids, 2 cats, some fish that will probably die soon, and plants that miraculously haven't died yet. Shocker. My oldest is a 5 year old girl (who is having a tantrum upstairs because she's not fond of....well, not throwing temper tantrums), and my youngest is 2 (and who is the dirtiest child eh-ver). My husband works a lot, leaving me to do things like blog to fill my days.

So, let us get started, shall we? I'm going to copy and paste (and try to backdate) in some stories others will recognize from my MySpace, about my kids, and other such fun. After this, no more recycled stuff - I'll post the real deal here, and you have an all-access pass on my life. It is all normal to me, but I've been told by others I need to blog, so maybe you'll all enjoy it.

Today in the Local (not funny)

I fell asleep to the sounds of fire truck sirens last night, hoping that only a house would burn, and everyone would be safe. I'm so sad to read today that 3 little boys died in that fire, ages 3, 4, and 11 years old. I'm so sorry for their family. Not that it isn't always sad when people die, children especially, but I HEARD the sirens, I was listening as these boys took their last breaths in tears and terror, maybe alone, maybe they had each other, I don't know. But I was safe in my bed with my kids in theirs, and these boys were dying in terror. Normal little boys put on their pjs, brushed their teeth, ran and laughed, jumped in to bed, snuggled under the covers for the night, and now they're dead.

http://www.dailylocal.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=20131514&BRD=1671&PAG=461&dept_id=635398&rfi=6

COATESVILLE - Authorities say a house fire has killed three children.Coatesville police say firefighters rescued two adults from inside the house.Firefighters got to the scene around midnight and found the house already engulfed in flames, police said.The blaze was put out shortly before 2 a.m. The cause has not been determined.Red Cross spokeswoman Helen Blue said the victims were all boys ages 3, 4 and 11.

Conversation with my sick husband

Tim: Do you remember when I had my last cold pill?

Me: Hmmm....I know I gave it to you, so it must have been before 5pm.

Tim: What does 5pm have to do with it?

Me: Because that's around what time I stopped talking to you tonight.

Daddy's Panties

Tess and I were at Walmart yesterday, and I was picking up new undershirts for Tim. As I was looking for the right size, Tess was grabbing packs of bright red boxer-briefs and trying to toss them in the cart.

She kept pointing to the man's junk saying "Das Daddy! Das Daddy!"

Then when I'd take them away from her to put them back on the shelf, she freaked out and kept yelling "I want Daddy's panties!!! I want Daddy's panties!!!"

Don't leave your drugs on the counter at 7-11

Alternate blog post title: More local news that makes me giggle and shake my head.

WEST CHESTER — Police arrested a man for allegedly leaving his bag of drugs behind at the 7-Eleven counter in July.

Ibrahiym Muhammad of West Chester reportedly left a grocery bag filled with marijuana at the convenience store counter after he paid for items July 22 in the 200 block of South High Street.The clerk, police said, thought the bag was garbage so she began to throw out the bag, but looked inside it first. Police said the clerk found 51 packets of marijuana inside.Police responded and looked at the store's surveillance video. Officers recognized the shopper as Muhammad.Then, on Monday, police reportedly spotted Muhammad in the passenger seat of a car in a parking lot in the 200 block of South Matlack Street.When police arrested Muhammad, they allegedly found he had 53 more bags of marijuana in his possession.

Ohhhhhh Coatesville

We made the front page of the Daily Local twice today - go Coatesville!

2006 shooting trial set to begin today WEST CHESTER - The 2006 shooting of a member of the Young Guns drug gang in Coatesville is expected to be the focus of a trial beginning today. Full Story

Pair shot in Coatesville COATESVILLE — Police are investigating after two men with gunshot wounds arrived early Sunday morning at the city police department. Full Story

Consider Yourself Warned

Judging by the amount of less-than-nutritious things I've ingested today, it appears that PMS is sneaking up on me with giant, clunky hooker boots with bells on them.

You have been warned.