So, I learned something new since yesterday.

I learned that if your child gets a whole tube of triple antitiotic gel in her hair, you can use Dawn dish detergent to wash it out. It will take a few times, but it works.

If it works for ducks stuck in oil spills, it is right to assume it should work in a 2 year old's hair.

So, Tim and I were...um...."overheard" last night by little ears.

I knew the day would probably come.

Tim and I were in bed last night, and he heard a tapping at the door. Crap. LOL So we threw on some clothes, and I opened the door and Ava was laying on the floor, nice and comfy, covered by her blanket - looked like she'd been there for a while since she was laying down!

So this morning she kept asking questions and talking about it. "Why was your door locked? (Hmm, not sure!) Were you and Daddy kissing? (We sure were, we like to kiss each other) Why do you kiss? (Because it is how we show each other we love each other).Was Daddy kissing you, or were you kissing Daddy? (We were kissing each other) Oh, because I thought Daddy was kissing YOU because I heard YOU saying "ooohhhhh" "uhhhhhh" "mmmmm".

MORTIFICATION!

I tried to act like it was no big deal, so she'd let it go if it didn't get a rise out of me, but she talked about it from 8am - 9am when I took her to pre-k. I hope she doesn't talk about it at school today!!! LOL

We painted the house

By we, I don't mean my husband and I, nor do I actually mean that I helped in any way. So, we is the wrong word - they. THEY painted the house. They being my (spawn) children.

I'll put it right out there: Kids are liars. When a 5 year old agrees to take a nap, you can assume that she is waiting for YOU to fall asleep, so she can go climb the cabinets in the kitchen, get out the finger paint, some paper plates, paper, cheesecurls, and juice and have herself a painting party.

You can also assume that not all fingerpaint is exactly washable, at least from carpet. The carpet I spent 4 hours treating, scrubbing, and shampooing on Friday. Yes, that carpet. The carpet that now has a 5 foot section that looks like it has some kind of spot-disease.

It was not all her fault, her 2 year old sister helped her after I got her out of her crib, and was cleaning up the 2nd floor. She went downstairs in search of her Barbie, and came up covered in paint. The foot note to that is that she also covered the hardwood floor in the downstairs hallway, the powder room sink, and the wall on the way up the stairs in paint, and left handprints on her sister's bed sheets and my bedsheets (but on my husband's side..he he he).

To recap: Kids can't be trusted. Kids are dirty. Kids are lucky they're loved very deeply, or I'd trade them in for some kittens with wolverine claws and a vomiting sickness, because they'd be much less trouble than my (spawn) children on a bad day!

May I present exhibit 39,352: This is not from today, but it will give you an idea of what I'm up against. This is my 2 year old, after my 5 year old decided to mix all finger paints together, and paint her sister.

I used to encourage free play, and let the kids learn and play without having constant supervison to stifle their creativity.

Now I'm all about putting the kabosh on that.

Hungry? Go steal something to eat. Help yourself!

From the Daily Local's police reports, there are a few I'd like to bring to your attention, and please note that there were only 4 to start with, and the 3 I'm presenting to you are people who stole food. I am laughing my ass off right now, especially over the old guy who stole sausage links. LOVE IT!!! Read on!

PENN
Police arrested Albert John DelVescovo, 72, of West Chester, for trying to steal six boxes of Bob Evans sausage links from the Giant on the 800 block of West Baltimore Pike, according to a police report.

ELK
Between 3:30 and 8:30 p.m. Oct. 5, $300 in cash, $100 worth of costume jewelry and $210 worth of T-bone steaks were stolen from a house on the 300 block of Baker Drive, according to a police report.

DOWNINGTOWN
A former Wawa employee stole a sandwich from the Wawa on the 100 block of Wallace Avenue on Oct. 6, according to a police report.

Either I had a bad day yesterday, or I got some new props!

Ok, here's me making lemonade with those proverbial lemons:


Yesterday, graceful swan that I am, I fell out of my mini-van and sprained my foot. You don't hear that often do you? There are some sentences that I say sometimes and I can't believe that it is something I needed to say (like telling my youngest as a crawler "Stop licking the kitty!").


Anyway, apparently I was trying to be Super Woman, because after my flight from the minivan and consequent meeting with the driveway I got back in the minivan and made the trip to the bank. BAD IDEA. I'm going to put the pain up there with early-labor pains, except at least when I was laboring I had the use of both legs to walk myself around while breathing my "hee hee heee ho's." I completed my bank transaction, my husband came home to be with the kids and I had them drop me at the Emergency Room at Brandywine Hosiptal.


It was actually a pretty pleasant ER trip! I haven't been to the ER so many times that I have lots to compare it to, but I was in and out in an hour, everyone was attentive, and for the 5-10 minutes I had to wait I loved having the time to sit and read in quiet! I think I"ll start "going to the ER" more so I can read to my heart's content!


My foot is not broken, but badly sprained. I'm sporting a very-hip ace-bandage thing, and the ultra-fashionable post-op "shoe" with the very fashion forward velcro strips. The crowning glory to the outfit, though, are my new sleek and slimming crutches!


So…back to the lemonade thing…Yes, I have a sprained foot, but if I ever want to do a medical or accident type photoshoot (or if I audition for Greys Anatomy someday), I just got my health insurance to provide me with some great props!

If the bed is rocking....

....it means the kids have been jumping on it too much! Last night Tim and I went to bed, and as the weight of us both settled on the bed, we heard a CRACK. Tim looked under the bed, and sure enough one of the support beams broke, and broke part of the frame along with it.

He used about 10-15 books from my nightstand to give it some support again....does that make us ghetto, or literary?