I has the funk.

Months ago I got to experience for the first time ever the joys of having pink eye.  Not only was it gross and uncomfortable, but I also couldn't wear my contacts.  So, with my glasses on I looked gross and felt uncomfortable as well.  Ok, everyone said "You look fine!  Really, you look good in your glasses!" but these are the same people who said months ago that my weight was perfect for my frame, then in the last month keep saying "You look SO much better!" after I dropped 10-15lbs.  So friends and family?  Your credibility?  Is shot.

Anyway.

Saturday I got out of the shower, wiped my face with my towel and -- damn it -- my right contact slipped around my eyeball.  So I thought.  Well, no time to play "Find the Foreign Object" in my eye because we were going to be late for my daughter's dance class, so I put on my glasses and away we went.

My eye was strangely not bothering me, considering a contact lens was lodged somewhere in the hinterlands, so when I got home I gave my bathroom a thorough investigation.  A-HA!  I found a shriveled up contact lens in the bathtub.  Mystery solved - my eyeball was all alone in there after all.

I popped in a fresh pair of contact lenses and went about my day.  My charmed eye-related life lasted only two days.  Last night I woke up a few times to a crusty eye.

Yeah, we all know that crust anywhere near an orifice is bad, but I was familiar w/ this eye crust.  I just had pink eye about 3 months ago.  SHIT.



So here I sit at work with my glasses on, quarantined in my cubicle with a supply of hand sanitizer.  Why aren't I at home when I am this contagious??  Well, friends, it is because my children are test subjects for some kind of underground movement that cultivates illness in children repeatedly. As such, all of my sick, personal, and vacation time has been used up caring for my disease ridden children.

Please don't go all "You're so irresponsible!  Think of your co-workers!"   I am - I am acting like I have OCD tendencies with all the hand sanitizer I'm going through, and not touching anything, clasping my hands to keep from touching anything.  I use my back to open doors, or ask people to open them for me.  My hands hurt from scalding hot washings, and I am only leaving my cubicle for bathroom breaks.

Trust me.  After Round 1 a few months ago, I feel like a pro.   Negative comments will result in mystery mail being delivered to you, that may have purposely been rubbed on my funk eye.

Have a delightful Monday :-)