Daddy's Panties

Tess and I were at Walmart yesterday, and I was picking up new undershirts for Tim. As I was looking for the right size, Tess was grabbing packs of bright red boxer-briefs and trying to toss them in the cart.

She kept pointing to the man's junk saying "Das Daddy! Das Daddy!"

Then when I'd take them away from her to put them back on the shelf, she freaked out and kept yelling "I want Daddy's panties!!! I want Daddy's panties!!!"

Don't leave your drugs on the counter at 7-11

Alternate blog post title: More local news that makes me giggle and shake my head.

WEST CHESTER — Police arrested a man for allegedly leaving his bag of drugs behind at the 7-Eleven counter in July.

Ibrahiym Muhammad of West Chester reportedly left a grocery bag filled with marijuana at the convenience store counter after he paid for items July 22 in the 200 block of South High Street.The clerk, police said, thought the bag was garbage so she began to throw out the bag, but looked inside it first. Police said the clerk found 51 packets of marijuana inside.Police responded and looked at the store's surveillance video. Officers recognized the shopper as Muhammad.Then, on Monday, police reportedly spotted Muhammad in the passenger seat of a car in a parking lot in the 200 block of South Matlack Street.When police arrested Muhammad, they allegedly found he had 53 more bags of marijuana in his possession.

Ohhhhhh Coatesville

We made the front page of the Daily Local twice today - go Coatesville!

2006 shooting trial set to begin today WEST CHESTER - The 2006 shooting of a member of the Young Guns drug gang in Coatesville is expected to be the focus of a trial beginning today. Full Story

Pair shot in Coatesville COATESVILLE — Police are investigating after two men with gunshot wounds arrived early Sunday morning at the city police department. Full Story

Consider Yourself Warned

Judging by the amount of less-than-nutritious things I've ingested today, it appears that PMS is sneaking up on me with giant, clunky hooker boots with bells on them.

You have been warned.

Flaming Toilet

I checked out my local newspaper's website today and scanned the headlines, and was instantly grabbed by this one....
2 students sentenced in Port-A-Potty arson incident

My favorite parts include:

"Under questioning from state police, Calhoun said he and Vnucak had gone to the portable toilet that morning to smoke a cigarette. While inside, Vnucak said he wanted to start a fire to keep warm and lit a small amount of toilet paper, Calhoun said."

[Obviously this kid is a genius, because this story is the perfect coverup to the crime....lighting a fire in a porta-potty to keep warm at the end of July is SO believable!]

"Another officer, Sgt. Daniel McKeown, reportedly detained two men whom he saw leaving the flaming toilet."

[Those are just 2 great words to string together.]

CPS Worthy

If you've been keeping up with my status changes, I am still dying of a sinus infection. I don't know how long it will take until I go into that dark night, but in my final days I am giving up on cleaning up and the inclusion of actual nutrition into the meals of my children.

Ava has been making "projects" for days, which include lots of cut up pictures of Disney Princesses, markers, crayons, and glue, making little glued-together piles of Princess parts.

While the mommy in me loves her art, the other part of me now has trouble distinguishing piles of "projects" and piles of scraps that I'm allowed to throw away. As I've gotten a severe dressing-down from Ava already for tossing the artwork that would gain her recognition worldwide, I have decided to give up on that fight for now. As for Tess, she demands that I draw hundreds of eyes and noses all over every piece of paper she finds. It started with just eyes, and no, I don't know why. All I do know is that these papers all over the house both confuse me and creep me out a little bit. Especially the ones that I drew eyelashes on.

Tess has decided she wants to potty, which means that she has also declared this the Month of Naked. She has also taken to rooting in the diaper bag for lollipops. so not only is she naked, she is sticky. She is, however, peeing in the potty.

Lunch consists of egg noodles, dinner is pizza, and lollipops and Doritos have been the snacks. Marshmallows are for when the screaming won't stop. We have no fruit right now, or I really would be giving it to them. I really would.

Thankfully for Tim, they're at least bathing every other day ~ usually it's every day, but it is one of those things that I don't have the energy for at all. He is also taking them outside when he's home, so don't concern yourselves with the possibility of them having a Vitamin D deficiency.

We have also watched copious amounts of Caillou on demand, but I did just switch it up a little while ago by turning on Nancy Drew. So at least they're learning valuable skills right now like picking a lock, sneaking in the places they're not supposed to be, and disobeying their father when he says not to do something.

Even on carrot cake? Really?

Am I in the minority of people who don't like the coolwhippy-kind of icing on cakes? I don't get it! It doesn't taste good, isn't complementary (spelling? dont care right now) to any baked good, and yet it is put on everything.

Is it cost, or care? That is, is it just simply cheaper than real icing, or is the matter really that people f-ing love this shit?

I had a craving for carrot cake today - yummy, moist carrot cake with cream cheese icing. While at Acme, I had to get one - a whole one! It looked delicious with it's nearly-off-white icing, which usually means it's butter cream or cream cheese icing.

NO!!! I got it home, sliced off pieces for the girls and I, took a bite and wanted to smack someone. Yucky coolwhippy icing, on a delicious carrot cake! Now I'll probably end up sending the cake in to work with Tim on Wednesday, instead of satisfying my craving over the next few days.

Acme, I say to you: C-

Bad move, friend. Bad move, indeed.